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Living With Insomnia Why The Body Can’t Rest
Insomnia can feel confusing and exhausting, especially when your body is desperate for rest, but your mind refuses to settle. Many people describe this as being “wired but tired,” a state where you’re physically drained yet wide awake.
Instead of viewing insomnia as a simple failure to sleep, this article explores why your nervous system may be keeping you alert, what internal signals are driving that response, and how the body’s sense of safety plays a central role in the return of deep, restorative rest.
- Published on Oct 27th, 2025
Are You Exhausted But Can’t Sleep?
Many of us have dealt with insomnia. In this article, we’re exploring that frustrating, exhausting experience through a different lens, and this lens might help make sense of why you’re staring at the ceiling at 3:00 AM.
Let’s paint the picture…
You’ve had a long, draining day. You’re physically wiped out, mentally spent. You climb into bed, and nothing happens. You just lie there wide awake. Your mind is running in overdrive.
It’s one of the most maddening feelings. People call it being “wired but tired.” Your body is screaming for sleep, but your brain feels like it just mainlined a double espresso. That feeling isn’t random. It’s a huge clue pointing to a deeper issue with your body’s internal wiring. Let’s look at what causes insomnia.
The Insomnia Paradox:
Not A Failure to Sleep
What is the insomnia paradox?
When you get that feeling like your body is just longing for sleep, but your mind is running at a million miles an hour? That isn’t just a random feeling, it’s a clue coming from your body’s internal wiring called the insomnia paradox.
We usually think of insomnia as a failure to sleep. But what if it’s not a failure at all? What if your body is succeeding at something else, trying to keep you safe?
Instead of wrestling your body into sleep, a different question becomes far more useful:
Why does my body feel like it needs to be on high alert right now?
The Nervous System:
On High Alert
Why can’t I get to sleep, even though I’m so tired?
To answer that, we look at the autonomic nervous system. This is the master control system for stress and relaxation. This is where the real story of insomnia begins.
The autonomic nervous system works like a car with a gas pedal and a brake pedal. The gas pedal is your fight-or-flight system (sympathetic). The brake pedal is your rest-and-digest system (parasympathetic).
At night, you should be pressing the brake. But when you’re dealing with insomnia, your foot is stuck on the gas. The “on” switch is jammed, and the “off” switch can’t kick in.
Even when you are bone-deep exhausted, your body acts like there’s a threat around the corner. It stays on high alert, scanning, blocking you from reaching deep, restorative sleep.
(Kim et al., 2022 PubMed)
Hidden Stressors:
What's Flooring the Gas?
What is it keeping my mind racing at night?
What keeps the gas pedal floored all night? Hidden stressors that keep your system stuck on “on.”
Factors like the racing mind you can’t shut off. Or a pounding heart. Even the restlessness in your legs. These are direct results of stress hormones (cortisol and adrenaline) flooding your system at the exact time they should be lowest. Your body is literally in a state of alarm, even when it feels tired.
A major player in this alarm state is the limbic system, your brain’s ancient threat detector. It works like a smoke alarm. After long periods of stress, the alarm becomes too sensitive. It can go off even when there’s no fire. When it stays overactive at night, it can block the release of melatonin, your primary sleep hormone.
(Van Someren EJW, 2021 PubMed)
But it’s not just the limbic system, there is also a connection that might seem out of left field but is actually huge, and that is your gut. There’s a powerful two-way information highway running between your gut and your brain, and it heavily influences your ability to sleep. Around 70% of your serotonin is made in your gut, and your brain needs serotonin to produce melatonin (melatonin is the magical sleep hormone). When your gut is off, your sleep chemistry is immediately in trouble.
(Sejbuk et al., 2024 PubMed)
So, you might be wondering how this is all connected?
Well, if inflammation is active in your gut, that serotonin-melatonin pipeline gets disrupted. Some gut issues even create high levels of histamine, which is a wake-up chemical in the brain. A gut imbalance can make you feel like you just chugged an espresso before bed.
But the signals don’t stop there! Many people hold their breath or breathe shallowly under stress, and shallow breathing alone can trigger a threat response. Also, holding tension in your neck or jaw sends low-level danger alerts straight to your brain. Even poor circulation can confuse the fatigue signals your brain expects.
The Search for Safety:
The Common Thread
Is insomnia a sleep problem?
Let’s consider all of the factors we have discussed so far.
All of these things, your hormones, brain chemistry, gut, breathing, and muscle tension are sending the same message to your nervous system. What is the common thread between them all?
It’s that insomnia isn’t really a sleep problem. It’s a safety problem.
This means that on a deep, primal level, your body has decided it is not safe enough to let its guard down, become vulnerable, and fall asleep.
That “wired but tired” feeling isn’t your body failing you. It’s your body trying to protect you. It’s keeping you vigilant because it believes there’s a threat somewhere. The response is logical. It’s just happening at the worst possible time.
How Sleep Returns:
Creating Safety
How do you overcome insomnia and finally achieve sleep?
If the problem is a perceived lack of safety, the solution isn’t fighting your body; it’s creating safety. Sleep comes back by calming the oversensitive smoke alarm in your brain, supporting your gut, reducing inflammation, improving circulation, and stacking signals of safety. These cues gradually retrain your body to believe it’s finally okay to let go.
This all means that sleep will return when the body feels safe, not when you force it, but when your nervous system learns the watch is over and it can finally rest.
The next time you’re lying awake, a more helpful question might be… What does my body need to feel safe right now? That small shift can change everything.
At the Integrated Health Foundation, insomnia is a common symptom for many clients we have worked with. We know now that insomnia is a result of the body not feeling safe, and the nervous system is dysregulated. This also means that it if you are experiencing insomnia, it is likely not the only symptom you are experiencing. If that’s the case, click below to take our Symptoms Evaluation Assessment. After you take this short survey, you will be emailed answers and insights specific to what you are experiencing. These insights can help you find the path of recovery to overcome them.
Do You Have Dysautonomia?
Take our quick and comprehensive symptom assessment to find out if your symptoms align with dysautonomia and receive personalized insights.
Why do I feel “wired but tired” at night even when I’m exhausted?
This happens when your autonomic nervous system stays in fight-or-flight mode instead of shifting into rest-and-digest. Your body is tired, but your brain is receiving signals that it needs to stay alert. Elevated evening cortisol and adrenaline often play a role
Can stress really block my ability to fall asleep?
Yes. Long-term stress makes the limbic system (the brain’s threat detector) more sensitive. When it stays activated at night, it can interfere with melatonin release, making it hard to transition into sleep.
How does my gut influence my sleep?
About 70% of your serotonin is produced in your gut, and serotonin is required to make melatonin. When your gut is inflamed or imbalanced, the chemicals needed for sleep can drop. Some gut issues also create excess histamine, which keeps your brain awake.
Why does tension in my neck or jaw affect my sleep?
Muscle tension, especially in the jaw, neck, and upper chest, sends constant low-level danger signals to your brain. Your nervous system interprets this as a reason to stay alert, which can interfere with falling asleep.
Can shallow breathing keep me awake?
Yes. When you breathe shallowly, your body receives the same signals it would during stress. This can trigger a mild threat response and keep your system from shifting into the parasympathetic state needed for sleep.
What does it mean that insomnia is a “safety problem”?
It means your nervous system believes (accurately or not) that it isn’t safe for you to become vulnerable and fall asleep. Instead of being a failure to sleep, insomnia often reflects your body trying to protect you.
How does sleep return once my body feels safe?
Sleep comes back when your nervous system receives enough repeated signals that the environment is calm and stable. Supporting gut health, reducing inflammation, easing muscle tension, and regulating breath all help teach your system that it’s finally okay to rest.
References
- Kim H, Kim J, Kim S. Autonomic Dysfunction in Sleep Disorders. Frontiers in Neurology. 2022.
PubMed - Van Someren EJW. Brain Mechanisms of Insomnia: New Perspectives. Physiological Reviews. 2021.
PubMed - Sejbuk M, Palma J, Castaldo M, Krygier M, et al. Gut Microbiota and Its Role in Sleep Regulation and Health. International Journal of Molecular Sciences. 2024.
PubMed - Guo J, Zhang X, Wang Y, et al. Exploring the Pathogenesis of Insomnia and Acupuncture Intervention Strategies Based on the Microbiota–Gut–Brain Axis. Frontiers in Microbiology. 2024.
PubMed
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